“To experience my full humanity is to embrace that I’m fully purposed. And so, for the sake of my own humanity, it becomes imperative that I become a student of my own story.” Matt Heard
I am a big dreamer. I love pushing people to dig deep into dreams they are scared to acknowledge. I am passionate about everyone finding their true purposes in life. Yet at times I have to pull myself back, because not all dreams and purposes have to be crazy scary and big. I’m a mom, and yes that is a huge part of my story and purpose, but I sense there is even a bigger part I’m supposed to play in this world. I struggle to put this into words because I realize I don’t know the extent of this part and purpose. Only God knows. I’ve realized my job is to listen to my heart and dreams, be intentional with letting God lead me through the winding path those intuitive tugs are taking me, and know He will use me (if I’m open to it, allow it, and don’t let fear and self limiting beliefs stop me) to do whatever bigger purpose He created me for.
Maybe my purpose is to demonstrate a life following God size dreams to my kids so they can make a huge impact in the world… or simply grow to have a good relationship with God. Or maybe my purpose will be a best selling novel that teaches people how to hear God’s voice. Or maybe my purpose and path will bring me, a horrible communicator and speaker, to speak to hundreds of people through social media or beyond. Or maybe it is simply to help that one person that needs me at the right time, that my journey will lead me to.
The thing is, I don’t know and I don’t have to know. All I have to know is I need to be intentional with my time with God so I can hear His direction and next steps. Start a business. Quit your job. Start a blog. Write a book. I simply keep stepping forward as He lights up the path and I work hard towards what I feel He’s putting on my heart to do, wherever it may lead.
I read something today that I love in a book called Life with a capital L by Matt Heard. It really describes how I feel. Like I’m on a journey LEARNING my story as I go through it. It’s constant growth, it’s constant pushing myself outside my comfort zone, it’s constant learning. And realizing God created each of us for a reason, for a purpose, and it’s our job to realize that the day to day tasks can’t be our main focus… if we aren’t allowing God to lead us.
“Because finding the place where our pages fit into a bigger narrative is crucial if we are to grasp our meaning, pursue some sort of purpose, and in the process, make sense out of Mondays…”
“Where does our boredom and unhappiness come from? It’s certainly not from a lack of things to do. It’s ironic, whether in work or play, we’ve never been so busy- or so empty. No matter how fast we pedal, we never get anywhere. No matter how frantically we pursue pleasure and purpose, we still aren’t fulfilled. Meaninglessness has become an epidemic in our culture and a soul sickness in ourselves?
When we are disconnected from what we’re meant to do, it’s like we’re broken- we run and run without getting anywhere.”
He goes on, and if you haven’t read this book I highly recommend it, to talk about how our purpose comes only from our Creator. Our purpose is simple. The glory of God. Our journey, characteristics, and skills to fulfill that purpose will be different for each of us. But I think too often we try to create our own purposes without being a student of what God had planned for us.
I love this excerpt from the book:
“When my alarm clock buzzes on a Monday morning, the first five words of the Bible carry an enormous amount of significance: ‘In the beginning God created…’
If God created me, then he has a purpose for me.”
I think it’s so easy for us to go about our day to day tasks, pushing snooze, rushing the kids off to school, working all day, running kids to sports, paying the bills, cleaning the house, jumping into bed exhausted at night… and never really asking God for guidance in all that. Asking Him to use us, to show us His purpose for us, to learn to recognize His voice as it whispers inside us.. whispers I think we often miss in the hustle of our day to day lives.
I’m not near perfect at this. But I’m determined to be a student. A student that is working hard to let God lead every day. A student that is learning to recognize God’s voice. A student that is obeying the steps He lights up, even if that means the dishes don’t get done that night.