This Seat Is Reserved

Every day.  I would get in the lunch line and begin getting nauseated.  I would chew on a Pepto Bismol pill my mom actually let me sneak into school (we probably wouldn’t get away with that now a days).  I would worry over and over where I would sit, who I would sit with, if I would have time to eat.  Most of the times I found a seat, but by the time I purchased my lunch and sat down, my stomach was in knots..painful.

I don’t think back on those days much and never really thought they affected me much…until I see my own child going through the same thing.

“You can’t sit at this table because these seats are reserved.”

The ones considered friends before…they don’t have a seat for him anymore.  New friends that he longs to hang out with….they don’t have a seat for him either.

My heart breaks because I remember the nausea…the pain..the anxiety.  The desire to just fit in socially and have good friends.  I can see how much my child craves those friendships.  Switching groups of friends at this age is tough because the groups seem to have already formed, and they don’t always have room for more people at the table.

I hate this part of childhood.  I hate how mean kids can be.  Part of me knows my children will be fine, that overcoming these obstacles will make them stronger, that they will find their “people”.  The other part of me wants to take them away from it all immediately so they don’t have to experience that pain.

I wish I could give my children a glimpse into the future…show them all the seats that will be open for them in the future…all the seats that will be reserved just for THEM.

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