I have always been a very “happy” and positive person…at least I like to think so. Yet as I get older, I feel like this thing called anxiety is slowly creeping into my life. I will admit, I’ve been a worrier since I was a child, dealing with daily stomach aches and internalizing my crazy fears. But this is different. It’s a racing heart. It’s a feeling something bad is going to happen, and though it is something I feel like I can hide and keep under control, it is something that I think can get worse as I get older. Luckily, it only happens on certain occasions.
Two things coming up that have my anxiety going. Flying and trips away from my family. I used to LOVE flying! Now, I feel so nervous and anxious, I tightly grip the armrests and feel like my heart might jump out of my chest. In fact, the last trip I went on, while I was in the airport waiting for my flight home, I fully contemplated if I would be able to handle the 10 hour drive home by myself if I just skipped my flight and rented a car. Like I was legit thinking of doing this! I was worried I couldn’t get on that airplane.
I also accepted two amazing Beachbody trips, not even realizing at the time..until I went to book my flights, that they were back to back. This means I will gone for 9 days out of the next 2 weeks! I start getting anxiety with a 4 day trip, let alone 9 days away from the kids and hubby! These trips are amazing, great for my business, and a welcome break from the hustle and bustle of motherhood, but that doesn’t come for free..the anxiety and guilt come along with it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful and excited for these opportunities, but the irrational thoughts start happening. What if my kids get sick? What if the airplane crashes and I leave my family wifeless and motherless? What if my kids and husband resent me when I get back from being gone for so long?!
So last night, as I was lying in bed, I felt my heart beating faster and faster, I felt tears forming in my eyes, and felt like I couldn’t catch my breath.. And I know as my trip gets closer, and those moments before I get on the the airplane, this anxiety is probably going to get worse. In fact, I get anxiety that I’m going to anxiety..is that possible?
My friend Allie recently started drinking this stuff called “Golden Milk” in the evenings that she said has really helped with anxiety. I also know doing my devotional and realizing God is in control helps.
What other tips have you found helpful for anxiety? I do worry as I get older this anxiety will progress, and learning strategies to keep it under control is important. I know once I’m in the experience of these trips, I will relax and enjoy…but if you see me driving back from Utah in 2 weeks because I couldn’t get back on the airplane, just send me a wave.