Everyday I Want to Cry, But I Snap a Picture Instead

My Very First Blog:

I don’t know much about blogs.  In fact, I have never read one.  However, I seem to have sign after sign thrown at me, encouraging me to start my very own blog.  So if this blog does not follow the normal “blog” rules or format, hopefully you understand why.

Today I wanted to cry. To be honest with you, everyday, there are many moments that make me want to cry.  Now let me tell you, I very seldom cry.  You won’t see me cry at a sad movie, you won’t see my cry when I am laboring a child into this world without an ounce of pain meds, and there is a good chance you won’t see me cry at a family member’s funeral.

This isn’t because I don’t feel the sadness and pain…there is just something inside of me that blocks the outward appearance of tears and emotions.  I feel just as much as the person next to me at the movie theatre, blotting their snot and tears and unsuccessfully attempting to suppress their sniffles.

Again, everyday there are things that make me want to cry… but I don’t.  Instead, I grab my phone and snap a picture.  I’m not sure why I do this.  Maybe because when you see it as a picture, you see it for what the circumstance actually is, and the insignificance in your life it actually has.  Maybe because when you take a photo of the craziness that once again surrounds your life, you realize you will someday look back at this picture and laugh.

After a rough morning of yelling kids, last minute homework, letting the puppy out 5 times, I finally got 2 kids on the bus and 2 kids in the car and ready to go to the grocery store.

I come home to an intense odor, meaning just one thing…Veda, our puppy, once again peed in her kennel and I will need to wash her blanket (which is something I have to do 1-2 times a day).  That is okay, I will do this after I wash the 11 x 13 rug in my living room where Veda spilt my morning coffee and left a giant brown stain.

It is naptime, and I have a screaming 2 year old that hasn’t eaten lunch..nothing Peppa Pig and a peanutbutter and jelly can’t fix.  Once he is sitting temporarily quiet, I start to put away the groceries.  As I am rearranging the fridge, the brand new gallon of milk begins to slide off the shelf, and in a clumsy way of attempting to grab it, I smash it into the edge of the door, busting a hole in it and allowing its contents to spill everywhere.

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I kind of wanted to cry.  But that’s silly, so I snapped a picture instead.  No biggie, I will just soak it up with one of the white towels in the washing machine I was waiting to start until I got home from the grocery store with the laundry detergent, and then will  immediately start that load so I can wash the giant rug so I can then wash the pee smelling blanket.

Wait…I forgot to buy laundry detergent.  Now I really want to cry.  I really want to…but I don’t.  I don’t because this is my life.  And I’m guessing it is many other people’s lives too.  This is not an atypical day.  In fact, I often think someone should follow me around with a camera for a prime time sitcom.

This is not what I planned my blog to be about.  My blog is supposed to be about getting everything you ever wanted in life.  Be successful, be happy, have it all!!  But as I’m blogging on how I do this, I want you to realize I don’t have it all together, I am not mom of the year, and though I am a clean freak…my house is rarely clean!  I may get my workouts in, but I am a human jungle gym at the time, and when I am done, there will be a brand new roll of paper towels chewed up all over the living room floor. I am a fitness coach and a Physical Therapist, but I have a heck of a time passing up a cookie, pizza, or anything for that matter.

I am married, have 4 children (age 9, 7, 4, and 2), along with 2 dogs, 2 cats, too many chickens to count, and occasionally a pig or a cow my husband brings home.  I work part time, I run 2 businesses, I coach gymnastics, I drive my kids to basketball, baseball, piano, gymnastics…my life is nonstop.

During my quiet time…I think God told me he wants me to start a blog.  Or maybe that was just one of my distracting thoughts I failed to push out of my head so I could focus on God.  Either way, that made me want to cry because I don’t have a minute of time to add one more task to my life.

I want to cry everyday.  Honestly, though, I have everything I’ve ever wanted. Everything I have ever strived to have and asked for in life, I have gotten.  I love my life that makes me want to cry on a daily basis.

This is my blog.  This is my quest to figure out why in the world God blesses me the way he does and how I can share this with others.  This is about loving the chaos of life, learning to let God lead this journey I’m on, and helping others do the same.

Now, I’m going to go clean my kitchen, start dinner, get my workout in, and try not to cry at the fact that after multiple attempts, I cannot get my 2 year old to nap.

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Everyday I Want to Cry, But I Snap a Picture Instead

  1. Ahhh nothing is worse than forgetting the laundry soap, except maybe forgetting the dish soap… Oh wait- the worst is forgetting the toilet paper! You are a brave woman! I could handle the kids, but puppies?? No way!!

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  2. It must be tears week, you don’t have to cry, I did it for you and me. Being overwhelmed from the smallest of things is usually not me, I’m the one who calls on the Name of Jesus and thumbs my nose at the situation. Today I did my quite time with God at 3:34am asking for God’s direction and leadership, working on 2 different businesses, trusting in the power of prayer to get me through to the other side and tears of joy just poured from me. So grateful to God for knowing my heart and hearing my many, many prayers not only for myself but for others as well. You are a wonderful example of the woman God made you to be, an encouragement to all of us.

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